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YOU’RE ANGRY! I KNOW
I know just how you may feel. I was the same way when my own child came home with red scratches on her body. She shared the stories of the mean, nasty words the classroom bully said to her, and it infuriated me. I said, “How dare ANYONE do this to MY CHILD!” Yes, it did spark outrage. It got personal. Like many of you, I could not sleep at night. I tossed and turned. My angst was certain. I knew I had to do something to save my child, and I knew that it could not wait. After all, I am my child’s mouth piece for peace. I am her anti-bully advocate. I am her spokesperson.
ANTI-BULLY ADVOCATE FOR MY CHILD
My husband and I always told our child that her job was to obey the teachers, remain respectful, adhere to the rules and regulations of the school, and be truthful with her parents. As long as she remained truthful, we’d fight for her rights. It is our job – not hers.
SOLID, ORGANIZED DOCUMENTATION
I also knew full well that I could not police the school on a daily basis. I wouldn’t be in the classroom, in the hallways, at lunch, or on the playground to protect her. So, I got busy! I was on fire! I began getting my documentation in order. In part, some of what I did can be read in my FREE
parent resource guide titled: The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm. Be sure to have your red and blue highlighters handy – I use this brand – Click here.
Use any binder
of choice, but make certain you can locate your materials/tools for added documentation purposes, and at a whim. Do not wait. Feel free to also use colorful index dividers
From experience as an educator, and mom, I also knew that my approach had to be gentle, but firm. Parents – if you don’t get this part right, I’ve found the problem will persist (under cover). Yes, I needed to secure the campus Principal was on my side. I needed the Principal to have buy-in, and listen to me, so I could not approach the school with my pinned-up anger. I had to calm down. But, trust me the meeting with the Principal was going to happen.
COME TO JESUS MEETING!
I like to call it my “Come to Jesus Meeting” – LOL
Once you have ALL your ‘ducks in a row’ (your organized and solid documentation), you are now armored with the tools needed to schedule an appointment with the school Principal. Notice, I said – School Principal – That’s right! I did not want to speak to the Assistant Principal, Counselor, or anyone else at the school. I wanted to speak to the Instructional LEADER in charge. The head ‘honcho’ – I was not in the mood to play games, or be told later on, “It’s my first-time hearing about this.” I wanted to ensure that I spoke directly to the person who could make immediate changes. I wanted the Bully to STOP. Even though I approached the school calm, I meant business and I needed the Principal to realize my seriousness from the beginning of the meeting until the very end.
CHAIN OF COMMAND LINGO DOES WORK
I also informed the Principal that out of respect for her, I wanted to begin with her in the district’s ‘chain of command’ – Did you hear what I just said parents? I used the word ‘chain of command’ – Ding-ding-ding! By now, I have the Principal’s attention. Although I began the meeting in a friendly, calm manner, you’d better believe I now had her undivided mind. She was on board. She was all ears.
Once I began to flip through my color-coded documentation while sharing my concerns, I also did another clever thing – I shared solutions with the Principal, but not only solutions to rid my child of the Bully (of course this was my major concern), but I offered suggestions to help the child-bully.
We have to remember, parents – Even though we are angrier than a ‘mad hatter’ the child-bully needs help, too. This child is angry for reasons we may never realize. So, what I said to the Principal about this one child is this: “You know. This child seems to be a bit bossy. Perhaps the classroom teacher can allow this child to take a positive/productive leadership role in some way in the classroom setting. Who knows?Maybe one day she may become a great leader, or teacher in our community. She just needs to learn how to do so in a proper manner using great social skills.”
Guess what parents? The Principal loved my idea. You see, we can turn unhappy moments to happy ones by our approach. Remember, how angry I was at the start? I wanted to march right into that school building and set things straight. My emotions were all over the place. I wanted the Bully to STOP and I wanted relief for my child.Guess what parents? I got it! The Bully did STOP!
If time permits, please take a look at my FREE parent resource guide titled:
The Bully Band Parents in Rhythm. You’ll be glad you took the time to download it.
Question: I’ve scheduled the meeting, but what can I do to help my child in the meantime? My child is scared, and does not want to go to school, but the meeting isn’t until next week. My child is constantly complaining of a stomach ache to avoid school. What are your recommendations?
Answer: Don’t worry — I’ll help you with that, too. Stay tuned for my next blog post on how to help your child affirm and strengthen their self-esteem armoring them with tightened self-worth and love for self.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions in the comment section below!
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