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Dear Dr. Cherrye,
Many families are falling apart during the COVID-19 pandemic, and domestic violence is on the rise. What recommendations do you have so that the family unit can remain wholesomely balanced without bullying and getting on one another’s nerves? Your input is welcomed.
Rescuing families during the coronavirus is a task that I’d love to help with. I realize that many families have been stuck inside the home in close proximity, and ‘cabin fever’ may be setting in. While some families have reported that the coronavirus era has brought them closer, I do realize there are those who find this time extremely unpleasant. Lord knows that this virus has caused lots of havoc and stress in the lives of many. Most stress may be largely due to financial difficulties, but being in close proximity certainly does not help when members find it easy to point blame one another.
Dr. Cherrye believes in the power of space. Space, or the lack thereof, is one variable that may cause people to lash out at each other. With this in mind, I want to recommend that each family member locates a special place within their home to be alone. Within this space, members can collect their thoughts, write, read, listen to music, and/or partake in their favorite activities. Journaling is also a great past time. Journaling is healthy for your mind and soul. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of time to come back together later.
Families need to learn the art of effective communication. This means that each member gets to talk while the other listens. The person listening does not get to interrupt. Take turns doing this, but be careful to have ‘ground rules’. There can be no shouting, or put-downs. Talk kindly, and softly to one another. This is key –Treat your family members the exact same way you’d want them to treat you.
Afterward, determine if there can be ‘middle-ground’ solutions, or compromises that both you can agree on. Most often, there will be common grounds! It’s okay for you to go first. Give in sometimes. Somebody has to be the bigger person. Right?
To add, talk about how COVID-19 has changed your life, and how it has made you feel. Talk about your ideas or input of what people can do in the future to prepare for a virus, or other future pandemics. Talk about how social distancing makes you feel and/or how it feels to be apart from extended family members and friends.
Each family member has a role. If not, roles should be defined, but most families already have defined roles within their units. Each member should respect the role of others. What role does the mom have in your home? Dad? Children? Whatever your respected roles, do not disappoint. If so, this can add stress to other family members, and I know this is not your intention.
Be sure to bring the family together at least once a week to eat at the family’s dinner table. Prepare a special meal, and enjoy setting the table. Set the mood by lighting candles (smile). During supper time, talk. Be sure to let each family member share their feelings. Take turns going around the table. Talk about what’s going on in your worlds (encourage each member to talk about what they do when they’re alone in their space), or talk about how this pandemic makes you feel. Talk about expectations, and future hopes/dreams once the pandemic vanishes. Just talk.
What chores do you have? Each member should remember to help out around the home. For example, if mom cooks, who will help wash the dirty dishes/pots and pans, or dry the dishes, or put the dishes away? Who will…
–feed/water the pets?
–walk the dog?
–take out the trash?
–wash/fold the clothes?
Remember to be considerate of one another. No one family member should feel like all the work falls on them. Play fair! Be considerate. Demonstrate your love toward all family members.
It’s always a great time to pull the entire family together to play a game or two. If not, what about watching a movie, baking a cake/cookies/brownies? Plan special time together at least once a week. For example, during the writing of this blog, my daughter plans to color Easter eggs. Now that should be fun to watch!
Always keep a daily routine. Routines help keep you busy and motivated. For example, make your bed every day, shower, exercise, and do whatever it takes to keep happy and emotionally healthy. This is not the time to be down on yourself. Personally, I love to pray, write, read my bible, study Spanish, and ticker around on the piano. Cooking is my least favorite thing to do, but I’ve found pleasure cooking for my family during this time.
LAWS OF OUR LAND
Whatever you do, always obey the laws of our great land. Listen to the Mayor/Governor of your city/state, and the medical professionals. Stay-at-home, and wait this coronavirus out. We must keep ourselves and our families safe. Wash your hands, sanitize often, wear your face masks when going out for essential items.
Do not let visitors inside your home right now. It’s just too risky. If you love your family members, do not put their lives at stake by partaking in selfish acts, and exposing your family to this virus.
Remember, for each person that you visit/interact with, you must multiply exponentially how many people they’ve interacted with. You just don’t know who has COVID-19.
Stay Home — Stay Put!!
I’d love for you to consider a few resources that will assist you in welcoming happy homes. In addition, I’m adding links to essential items you can order online. These items will assist in maintaining your physical/mental health and sanitizing your home. If you have questions about why I’ve included many of the items below for the purpose of avoiding COVID-19, please ask.
- Candles – YIH Gift Package Scented Candles Lemon, Fig, Lavender, Spring Fresh,Rose ，Jasmine，Vanilla，Bergamot，Natural Soy Wax Portable Travel Tin Candle,Set of 8
- Essential Oils – Artizen Aromatherapy Top 14 Essential Oil Set (100% PURE & NATURAL) Therapeutic Grade Essential Oils – All of Our Most Popular Scents and Best Essential Oil Blends
- Lemon Lysol Spray – Lysol All Purpose Cleaner Spray – 32 oz – Lemon Breeze
- Hand Sanitizer – Amazon Brand – Solimo Hand Sanitizer with Vitamin E and Aloe, 8 Fl Oz (Pack of 1)
- Hand Soap (Bacterial) – Softsoap Liquid Hand Soap Pump, Antibacterial Crisp Clean, 11.25 Ounce
- Alcohol – Medical Grade Isopropyl Alcohol 99.9% (32oz)
- Ayr Saline Nasal Gel – Ayr Saline Nasal Gel, with Soothing Aloe, 0.5 Ounce Tube (Pack of 3)
- Sanitizer refill sets – VHOPMORE Portable Travel Bottles Set (5 Pack), 30 ml Leak Proof Refillable Travel Containers Cute Cartoon Design Empty Bottles Perfect for Hand Sanitizer, Liquid Soap, Lotion
- Disinfecting Wipes – Amazon Brand – Solimo Disinfecting Wipes, Lemon Scent & Fresh Scent, Sanitizes/Cleans/Disinfects/Deodorizes, 75 Wipes Each (Pack of 2)
- Word Search Puzzle – The Supreme Word Search Book for Adults – Large Print Edition: Over 200 Cleverly Hidden Word Searches for Adults, Teens, and More!
- Board Game – Hasbro Gaming Taboo Party Board Game With Buzzer for Kids Ages 13 and Up (Amazon Exclusive)
- Adult Coloring Book – Adult Coloring Book: Stress Relieving Animal Designs
- Color Pencils – Crayola 100 Colored Pencils, Amazon Exclusive, Adult Coloring, Kids Indoor Activity at Home, Gift
- Jigsaw Puzzle – Space Puzzle 1000 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle Kids Adult – Planets in Space Jigsaw Puzzle
- Cookie cutters – Wilton Cookie Cutters Set, 101-Piece — Alphabet, Numbers and Holiday Cookie Cutters
- Cupcake Liners – LetGoShop Silicone Cupcake Liners Reusable Baking Cups Nonstick Easy Clean Pastry Muffin Molds 4 Shapes Round, Stars, Heart, Flowers, 24 Pieces Colorful
- Diary- Guess What? Dear Diary,
A diary for little girls. They will enjoy writing in this journal, daily.
I’ve made it my mission to assist parents in resolving the bullying issues their children are suffering. Offering your feedback and suggestions in the comment section could facilitate meaningful dialog on this critical issue among ourselves and I encourage this. I will respond to each comment in a timely way. Should you wish to speak privately with me, please email be at CherryeVasquez@gmail.com, and I will reply promptly.
Use my free resources, Self-Identity Worksheet: Sharing My Goals & Positive Attributes and The Bully Band: Parents in Rhythm as tools to help you help your child with bullying, and to help build your child’s self-esteem.